Time, and ‘last times’

The ‘last times’ began a couple of weeks ago. I would watch a DVD and think ‘that’s the last time I’ll watch a DVD before I go and cycle to India!’. Or I would walk to work, go food shopping, or play football. They were all ‘last times’. This morning there have been even more of them. The ‘last time’ I drink a cup of tea in the comfort of my home, look out of my bedroom window, or thank my mum for making breakfast.

I try to remind myself that they are not the ‘last times, ever’. Just for a while. I also try to remind myself that the reason I’m doing this is to remind myself how much I value these little things, though perhaps I take them for granted.

Time also seems unfairly short. I’ve not even finished packing yet. And I never finished putting my preparation notebook, with details and useful words of the countries and languages I expect to encounter, as I had planned. I haven’t had the time to have the BBQs or parties, and enough time to read all the books I wanted, or all the films I wanted to watch, before I set off. But then I remember that these are the very things that stop many people from doing just the kind of thing I’m doing.

There’s so many things, so many people, so many times, that I’m going to miss over the next few months. The challenge today will be to put them all to the back of my mind, and just go. I feel as though I’m floating on a river, creeping ever closer to a great waterfall. I’m on the brink of the waterfall now, and there’s no realistic way of turning back. I’m going over the waterfall, so I really had better enjoy it!

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